Blog : The Kibble Syndrome

What I'm talking about is something that you know well, because almost everyone, or almost everyone, encounters it on an almost daily basis. It's a system that I vulgarly call it that, because it's really doing the beautiful thing to get a little kibble. It's a self-submission mechanism in order to get a benefit or to meet a need.

Are you one of them? The answer is probably YES, even if you are not really aware of it. By anticipating a situation, you had planned to refuse something. And yet, once you are in that situation, your system starts up and you end up doing the roundabout thing, and even if the little voice tells you to refuse, you don't succeed, while ending up accepting, in spite of yourself, letting a good dose of frustration come quickly. Has this ever happened to you ?

If everyone has at least one behaviour controlled by this devious and irrepressible system, some people turn it into a way of life, a kind of spiral that leads to a deep, silent and mostly misunderstood malaise. Explanations...

Basically, this adaptive system allows either to respond to an unconscious expectation or to avoid a problematic situation. Most of the time, one thus disguises one's behaviour, one's speech, one's appearance, his way of being in order to avoid being rejected or just to be accepted. It's about just appearing, blending in with the codes and pleasing others. When the spiral is launched, it can even make you do things you don't agree with. You finally get caught at your own game, but it's too late. Going backwards would mean Admit that you have played a role and sometimes lied, with this sword ready to fall, the fear of losing everything is too great, so you prefer to go on and try to manage the situation And the system... gets stronger this way. And the more you get caught up in it, the harder it is to turn back.

In reality, your behaviour adapts in a binary way, doing the nice and hoping to get the kibble, or not doing the nice and being sure you don't get the kibble. If you think about it, you'll understand that if you make waves by coming up with codes, there's nothing to say you won't be accepted . It's your fear that takes over and governs you.

This system is always based on a complex set of fears, lacks, frustrations, etc... based on previous experiences, without even being aware of them, sometimes even without being able to identify them. It is therefore necessary to solve the problems at the base, in order to be able to regain total freedom in the face of the events that trigger the spiral. If the feeling of rejection is resolved, you will no longer need to adapt your behaviour, because whether you are accepted or not, you will agree with what can happen. If my advice is first to become aware of what is bothering you, while trying to find out the ins and outs in you, the difficulty lies in identifying all the components of the mechanism so that you can dissolve it completely and thus neutralize the stress that feeds the spiral.

To achieve this successfully, it is therefore preferable to use non-mental, consciousness-observation techniques.