Blog : The Mirror Effect

What's that ? It is the image that is sent back to you by others or situations you have experienced. You will understand that this is a very particular subject, because it generally offends the sensibilities of the people who are confronted with it.

All of you have encountered situations or places, but most of you have encountered people who are bothering you. This discomfort arises from the rise of an emotion that you will experience negatively : the person irritates you, creates anxiety, sucks your energy, makes you sad or nostalgic. You will then judge that the situation is negative or that the person is toxic. Most of the time, you will want to avoid the situation or push the person away. What is the reality of the situation ?

Your mind is in fact very skillful, it does this little trick by offering you in haste a negative judgment of the other, which you accept without the slightest hesitation, so good is the bargain if you are not an enlightened minimum. This primary reaction then takes you away from the true nature of the cause, by simply taking away your responsibility, avoiding looking where it hurts, that is to say within yourself !

Basically, if the person has brought up a negative emotion in you, and most of the time completely involuntarily, it is because an attitude (a word, a behaviour...) - OR - the consequence of this attitude has entered in RESONANCE WITH SOMETHINGS INSIDE YOU. It is for you the opportunity to progress and to solve an inner conflict!

Will you dare to take a closer look at it, confront it and try to understand its origin in order to try to solve it? Or isn't it easier to run away and keep it well buried?
Are you going to accuse the other one or question yourself? In reality, you are free, you always have a choice, but sooner or later you will encounter new, different circumstances, putting you back into exactly the same emotion, an ever greater discomfort until you accept that the problem comes from you and that sooner or later only you will have to solve it.

The origin of your problem is not always easy to find and sometimes you need to get help because of the obvious lack of objectivity about yourself. To understand this, let's take this example : Imagine that you have a friend who spends a lot of money on completely futile things (this is your point of view and your friend may have a completely different point of view, by the way). Being at his side when he spends money makes you irascible... Yet, who are you to control what he does? His behaviour can mirror several things :
- Buying futile things sends back to you the image of waste and overexploitation of the planet responsible for climate problems ?
- A need for control because of a rigid parent in your upbringing ?
- Frustrated by the fact that your tight budget doesn't allow for these expenses that would give you so much pleasure ?

There can be a multitude of reasons for your unhappiness, but the other one is absolutely not responsible for it! Don't blame him and find out why. The origin may also be completely unconscious and will therefore not be accessible by your reflection. Moreover, it is possible that the conscious cause that you have determined is itself based on another, deeper cause that you will find difficult to elucidate. In order to regain serenity in the problematic situation, it is necessary to dissolve the whole scheme.

Dare to observe and question yourself in order to free yourself and thus improve the fluidity of your life !